He should never resort to name calling, physical or aggressive behavior, or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. He should always treat you with respect, even during a heated argument. If not, it may be time to cut ties. [1] X Research source
You can often get an idea of a person’s level of respect towards you in how they engage with people you are close to. The man you are considering spending the rest of your life with should treat the people you love with kindness and respect, even if he doesn’t get along with them. If nothing else, he should treat them this way because he cares about you. You may consider ending things if he can’t do that. [2] X Research source
A person who is husband material shouldn’t make you feel guilty for having flaws. You should feel comfortable around them to be honest and not try to hide who you are. It’s probably time to find a new partner if they can’t accept the real you. [3] X Research source
It’s time to move on if you don’t feel safe when talking about potentially upsetting topics with him. Sure, he can be upset or mad if he doesn’t agree, but it’s never an excuse to behave in a way that makes you fearful. Ask yourself if you really enjoy spending time with him or if you’ve just formed an unhealthy attachment before you consider marriage. [4] X Research source If you find that you feel afraid to speak up about something or feel genuinely afraid to break up, that is a red flag.
Take a look at your history and ask yourself if he’s put in the same level of commitment to making the relationship work as you have. If he hasn’t, he likely doesn’t value your partnership as much as you do. [5] X Research source
Ask him casually how he feels about marriage. You could say, “Do you ever see yourself settling down one day and getting married?” Listen to how he talks about other people’s marriages, as well. What he says about marriage in regards to others can reveal a lot about how he really feels. [6] X Research source Do not get attached to the idea that he will change his mind for the right partner. While beliefs can change over time, it has to be his personal choice, not your pressure. What you see is what you get.
Couples don’t always have to share the same beliefs when it comes to faith and other important values. However, they should be respectful of what each other holds dear to them. Your relationship likely doesn’t stand a chance if your beliefs aren’t compatible with one another’s. [7] X Research source For example, if you strongly value honesty, but your partner lies repetitively, this will be a major point of contention. Similarly, if you value spending time with family while your partner places priority on work relationships, you could be pulled apart due to your differences.
For instance, if you want to purchase a home, but he is comfortable with renting for the foreseeable future, you may encounter troubles. On the same token, if you know you don’t want kids and he already has names picked out, there’s probably heartache ahead. [8] X Research source
Take a break if you’re unsure about the relationship. This will help you determine if you like your life better when he’s around. If not, it may be time to move on. [9] X Research source
You may not have found the man of your dreams if he is only interested in supporting you if it benefits him. You might have a keeper, however, if he is willing to take a step back to allow you to pursue your goals. [10] X Research source
A sign to move on is when you’re unhappy more often than happy. Relationships aren’t about having fun all of the time, but there has to be some enjoyment in there to make them last. [11] X Research source
He should feel fortunate to have you in his life. He does not have to constantly praise you, but he should let you know how much he values you from time to time.
