Have a conversation with your girlfriend about public displays of affection (PDA), preferably before you are out in public. You could start off with something like, “I really like showing affection towards you in public. How do you feel about me kissing you when we’re out and about?” If she’s not okay with it, don’t try to coerce her to kiss you while in public.
While you might think it’s a grand romantic gesture, it could have the effect of turning her away from you if she’s uncomfortable.
You can probably get away with a peck on the cheek or forehead. It’s especially important to skip PDA at the office if you work with your girlfriend. Most workplaces frown on inter-office romances.
Other places to skip include the elevator (if there are other people there), a cab, or the subway. [5] X Research source Also skip places where you’re near a person who has to stay where they are, such as a security guard. [6] X Research source
Think about where you are and if it is a safe place to be kissing. For instance, is the area too isolated, meaning you couldn’t get help if you need it? Think about the atmosphere of the city or business you’re in. Is it a deeply conservative one, where you might have trouble exhibiting PDA with a person who is the same sex or of another race? On a positive note, with the passage of laws across the U. S. , hate crimes have decreased over time. [8] X Research source
One person put it this way: Pretend your grandmother is standing right next to you. If you wouldn’t do it in front of her, don’t do it in public. [10] X Research source In addition, keeping it light helps you not cross any legal boundaries. The laws on how much is too much varies by city and state, but if you keep it to light kissing, holding hands, and hugging, you should be fine. [11] X Research source
Notice her eyes, too. For instance, is she making eye contact with you? That could be a sign she’s interested in you and wanting to kiss. Also, watch to see if she’s looking at your lips as much as you’re looking at hers, a sign she may want to kiss.
You can also enter her intimate space by getting closer to her. However, if she steps back to create distance, that’s a sign you need to respect her distance and that she may not want to be kissed.
Look for tense shoulders and crossed arms, for instance. Another sign she may not be interested is she’s pointing her body away from you rather than towards you. However, a good sign in posture is if she starts mirroring your stance or body language, something we do unconsciously with people we like. [16] X Research source
For instance, you could say, “I’d really like to kiss you right now. Is that okay?” You could also say, “How would you feel if I gave you a big ol’ smooch right now?” Respect her decision if she says “no. " Don’t try to pressure her into it.
However, nonverbal cues can be consent. Nodding or her kissing you would be a sign of consent. [19] X Research source Nonetheless, if her nonverbal cues aren’t showing an enthusiastic “yes,” wait until you get one. [20] X Research source The fact that she doesn’t resist isn’t consent, either. [21] X Research source
It also wouldn’t hurt to do a quick check-up in a mirror first, if possible, to make sure you don’t have anything in your teeth. If no mirror is available, run your tongue around your teeth to make sure they’re clean.
You can discreetly put some lip gloss on by going to the bathroom or by looking away for a moment. Don’t put too much on, as you don’t want to create an oil slick for kissing.
If people are milling around, it can kill the romance. Try to pick a place she feels comfortable. If she’s not comfortable, the kiss won’t be enjoyable for her.
Always be looking for signs of nonverbal communication. For instance, if you reach out to touch her and she pulls away, you should stop. [26] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 4 March 2020. Sitting close to you, giggling, and making eye contact are all signs that she’s okay with being touched. [27] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
If she pulls away, let her. When you’re ready, pull back again.
Focus on enjoying the moment. Try not to think about whether you’re doing it right or what’s going to happen in a few minutes.
For instance, you can try lightly licking across her lips, but try not to lap her whole face.