Teach your child to say, “Excuse me” if they need to say something. Make your expectations clear. For example, say, “I want you to play at the park while I speak with your Aunt Marty on the benches over here. Please don’t interrupt us unless there’s an emergency. ”
For example, say, “We are going to see your pediatrician today. When I’m speaking with her, please don’t try to get my attention. I’d like you to sit quietly and play with your toy. ”
Say, “I bet a clever child like you can create beautiful artwork. Can you show me what you create when you’re done?”
For example, if you go to a toy store to pick out a gift, say, “You are not getting any toys this trip. If you find something you like, put it on your birthday or Christmas wish list. ” You can also practice the difficult situations with your child so they get more comfortable with them. For example, if your child throws tantrums at the grocery store when they want you to buy them snacks, practice taking them to the grocery store and not buying them anything.
For example, if you tell your child that playing with balls inside the house will result with a timeout, put them immediately into timeout if you notice them throwing a ball around. Don’t listen to any justifications or excuses. If you have a set schedule, be consistent with it. Keeping your child on a consistent schedule can help manage their expectations. [7] X Research source
For example, if you tell your child it’s dinner time and they ask for five more minutes of playtime, say, “Everyone in the family is expected to be at the dinner table now, which means you, too. ” If you’ve already said no yet your child continues to push, say, “I’ve already said no. You know the answer stands and is not up for discussion. ”[8] X Research source If your child gets upset, let them be upset as long as they’re following your rules.
For example, if you say to your child, “Clean your room, otherwise you won’t be able to find things” just say, “You must clean your room before dinner time” and walk away. This will halt any responses such as, “But I can find my things just fine!”
For example, say, “If you want something, you can ask nicely. Demanding something won’t work. ” You can also make an effort to model good behavior, too. Your children are always watching you, and will notice how you act and present yourself. [11] X Expert Source Denise SternParenting Specialist Expert Interview. 19 February 2021.
For example, say, “I saw you sharing your toys with your little brother. I’m so proud of you and how mature you’re becoming. ”
For example, start a sticker chart with behaviors you want to see such as putting away toys, sharing, keeping a calm voice (not yelling) and completing chores. Each sticker can signify 15 minutes of television or another reward you determine.
For example, say, “I can tell you didn’t get your way, and that makes you feel angry. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to throw toys at another child. ” Remember—children don’t have the same tools that adults have to manage their emotions. [16] X Expert Source Denise SternParenting Specialist Expert Interview. 19 February 2021. Let your child experience the consequences of their bad behavior. For example, if they break one of their toys when they’re upset, don’t replace. This will teach them that their actions have consequences. [17] X Research source
For example, say, “I know you didn’t get the toy you wanted, but can you thank your Aunt and Uncle for thinking of you on your birthday and buying you a gift. ”
When your child behaves badly toward another child, talk to your child about their behavior. For example, say, “How do you think Erica felt when you hit her? Do you think she wanted to be hit? Do you like it when people hit you? That’s right, it’s not fun. Please don’t hit. ”
