In most cases, the child molester turns out to be someone known to the child through school or another activity, such as a neighbor, teacher, coach, member of the clergy, music instructor, or babysitter. Family members like mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, stepparents, and so on may also be sexual predators.
Some also have mental illness, such as a mood or personality disorder. Heterosexual and homosexual men are equally likely to be child molesters. The idea that homosexual men are more likely to be child molesters is a complete myth. [5] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Women who are child molesters are more likely to abuse boys than girls.
Child molesters tend to talk about or treat children as though they are adults. They might refer to a child as they would refer to an adult friend or lover. [7] X Research source Child molesters often say they love all children or feel as though they are still children.
Child molesters look for children who are vulnerable to their tactics because they lack emotional support or aren’t getting enough attention at home or will try to convince the parents their children are safe with them and that they are not going far. The child molester will attempt to step in as the “parent” figure for the child. Some child molesters prey on the children of single parents who aren’t available to provide as much supervision or convince parents that they are nice enough people to supervise without them. A child molester will often use a range of games, tricks, activities and language to gain trust and/or deceive a child. These include: keeping of secrets (secrets are valuable to most kids, being seen as something “adult” and a source of power), sexually explicit games, fondling, kissing, touching, sexually suggestive behavior, exposing a child to pornographic material, coercion, bribery, flattery, and—worst of all—affection and love. Be aware that these tactics are ultimately used to isolate and confuse your child.
You can also do a search for individual names to see if a specific person is a sex offender. It’s good to be aware of potential predators, but realize that it is illegal to take any kind of action against registered sex offenders.
You can also do a search for individual names to see if a specific person is a sex offender. It’s good to be aware of potential predators, but realize that it is illegal to take any kind of action against registered sex offenders.
If you can’t be there for a trip or outing, make sure at least two adults you know well will be chaperoning a trip. Don’t leave your child alone with adults you don’t know well. Even relatives can pose a threat. The key is to be as present as possible.
Be sure your child knows never to send pictures to a person they met online, or meet someone they are communicating with online. Know that children are often secretive about online behavior, especially when encouraged by others to keep secrets, so you’ll need to be vigilant about staying involved in your child’s online activity.
Child molesters will ask the children to keep it secret from their parents. Ensure your children understands that if someone has asked them to keep a secret from you that it isn’t because the child will get into trouble but the person who has asked them to keep the secret knows what they are doing to them is wrong. Express interest in all of your child’s activities, including schoolwork, extracurriculars, hobbies, and other interests. Let your child know that they can tell you anything, and that you’re always willing to talk. Reassure them that they won’t get in trouble if they talk to you about something that made them uncomfortable or something they found unusual.
Teach your child that no one is allowed to touch them in private areas. Many parents define private areas as those that would be covered by a bathing suit. Children also need to know an adult should not ask a child to touch anyone else’s private areas or their own. Tell your child to say “no” and walk away if someone tries to touch them in a private area. Tell your child to come to you immediately if someone touches them the wrong way. Teach your child that not only their private parts, but their entire body should be respected at all times. Teach them that it is okay to say “no” to things they are uncomfortable with and to immediately get away from anyone who won’t respect their boundaries.
Never dismiss a child’s claims because the adult in question is a valued member of society or appears incapable of such things. That’s exactly what a child molester wants. Remember that the most important thing you can do to protect your child is to pay attention to them. Assess their needs and desires, talk to them, and in essence, just be the best parent you possibly can. Bottom line to remember: If you don’t pay attention to your child, someone else will. Remember that kids around 12, should already have gotten sex education by their parents and told what everything means/is called. This will prevent a teacher/friend who is a child molester from taking the lead and teaching whole other aspects. Make sure your child already knows everything it needs to know, before it gets taught very different meanings of words or gets told that kissing/licking the teachers cheek is totally fine. If the child is very young or younger than 14, they might not recognize that there’s a difference between a grumpy teacher giving extra homework, or a strange acting teacher that wants them to kiss the cheek before leaving the room. Both to them are ‘annoying. ’ So make sure whenever your child tells you vague stories about the teacher making sex-jokes or touching them, or being ‘annoying’ and asking all kinds of ‘private stuff’ that there might be something going on. As soon as the child mentions the teacher is acting strange or is asking private info/pictures/things about siblings, you have to tell your child how to react to this. Be realistic in the approach! Telling your kids to scream loudly when the teacher touches their shoulder, or hit their hand and yell whenever they’d touch their back, won’t help. They won’t hit a teacher, especially not when they’re being groomed and told they’re only trying to help. Make sure they will tell them clearly that they have told their parents about what happened and they weren’t happy with it. Or give the child an envelope, containing a letter that says; ‘Stop touching my child’ and your signature. Make sure they give it to them when they are touching a bad part of their body and didn’t stop when they said stop. (Make sure you think about this, it’ll only have a positive effect if you’re absolutely sure he’ll be ignoring the boundaries and is actually going too far. One impulsive hand on the shoulder isn’t.
